Death to the Kid ...

Today, I learned that a sweet & memorable part of my childhood was murdered by union thugs... As a child, I used to eat the healthy breakfast my mother made for me at home, and then I would race to my best friend's home, where his mother went to work, but to compensate for being an absentee mom, she used to stack the freezer with boxes & boxes of Twinkies. Up to the last time I saw my best friend's mother many years ago, prior to her passing away after her battle with cancer, we laughed for decades about how she couldn't figure out WHY she constantly had to restock those Twinkies -- it was me. Yes, I had an obsessive love affair with our beloved junk food cream filled cake, the Twinkie. 

'Tis a sad sad day that yet another slice of American pie is going by the wayside... A sad day, indeed.

Deaf culture

A few Weekends ago I was invited to go to an event hosted at San Diego State University by The Office of Intercultural Relations Collegiate Dialogue on Diversity. The event had various workshops-

I attended many of the workshops during my visit but the last workshop I got to attend stood out. It was “Deaf Culture: Communicating With Your Peers” which was out of my comfort zone because I don’t interact with people who are deaf.

Not by choice, I just don’t find myself in situations where I’m around people who are deaf.
Once the workshop got going there was this gentlemen standing in front of us. He looked to be of African decent, well dressed and was using sign to communicate. Isidore Niyongabo was the presenters name. There was an interpreter there as well. It was kind of magical how she could that put his elegant gestures into spoken words. It was quite a marvel to see as he made each sign with such precision. I knew from prior experience that it is good  etiquette to look at the speaker as he signs and not to focus on the interpreter.

He told us that he was not born here in the US but somewhere on the African continent.  He really opened my eyes to the major challenges that faces American Sign Language. I had no idea of the turbulent history behind a language that has struggled to survive for so long.

He explained things that I would never would have had the courage to ask a deaf person. He told us about the social dynamics within the deaf community. He shared a phrased that is used within his community that I never have heard before. It was the term “Not Deaf Enough” which was the source of a very sensitive topic. Not being deaf enough is associated with a type of discrimination that people who are deaf might use against somebody who might just be hard of hearing or just reads lips and does not sign.

I never gave it any thought before that workshop about how people within the deaf community could take issue with those who want or just merely can heal or fix their particular affliction. It seems absurd to think that a group of people are using their disability to discriminate against people who share the same disability just not as severe or they found a way to cope with the audible society. Bizarre.

After the presenter was finished we got to learn a few signs which happen to be more fun than I had anticipated. I’m really glad I took the chance and exposed myself to something out of my usual comfort zone.

Game Of Life

For the second concurrent session at SDSU's Collegiate Dialogue on Diversity I participated in the “Game Of Life”.

It was a game of social perceptions and how social interactions produced sometimes very unbalanced and biased disseminations  of opportunities and wealth in society.  I witnessed so many injustices within the game that made some students irritable.

When we first walked in we were assigned name tags that held our classification. The workshop leaders kept the meaning of our special little name tags a secrete. As each one of us got our random designations we were sent off with a “In there Ma’am” or “Through there Sir”. Some were encouraged to cut some folks and others were told to just go in and don’t get in the way of the others. Needless to say, from the start I was very intrigued.

When I got my tag and walked in and I was greeted at the table designated as the bank, “Hello Ma’am, how can I help you?“ I replied that I needed a job and didn’t know were to go. She told me I could jump to the front of the line and get a job at the employment and housing department across the way. I did what the young lady asked and saw one of my classmates in line. It was Kariah, she showed me a piece of paper and said “ I’m trying to get a job but I don’t know what to do with this paper they won’t help me.“ I looked at the piece of paper she was holding and saw “asdfl;khj - a;diojadf;“.

I was like” damn girl sucks to be you” and I proceeded to skip her in line and just as I did, Kariah protested. Right at that moment the guy who was the policeman came and said to me, “ Is she harassing you?” I said “she was” and just like that he took her away with no hesitation. As he took her away he stated that he can't understand her and that she was going where she belonged. It was at that moment that I realized her I.D. was that of an immigrant.

I myself faced hardship too. I was able to witness in some measure what it was like to have the same job as a male but not the same compensations as a female who is just as qualified. While my male equivalents were living it up, I was stuck trying to save twice as long just to afford half the stuff they acquired with their prestigious titles.

 After a while I started to help out the down trotted who were just trying to acquired a basic education.

The whole activity was an eye opener of how important taking advantage of education can help diffuse some of the pitfalls that people of color face. Additionally they made us critically think about our own prejudgments and some of the injustices that society inflicts that at first glance seem intolerable but we ignore it on a daily basis. Good workshop.

Think Like A Man And Act Like A Man

I had the honor of being invited to "The Office of Intercultural Relations Collegiate Dialogue on Diversity" at the San Diego State University. There were a few keynote Speakers at the event, Dr. James Kitchen and Washington Navarrete, who were very interesting to hear out. The event had various workshops-

-The first workshop I had the pleasure to attend was “Think Like A Man And Act Like A Man”  which was very insightful. We took a good look into the of what a man really is and what society thinks a man should be.

One of the questions asked was “ What is a man? Or better yet what qualities make up a man?“. And it was pretty steady around the table that a man should be; Strong, dependable, honorable and have the gumption to be accountable for his actions whether he’s being judged on his merits or his failures.

 Almost on cue, two ladies trickle in and sit down next to me. Naturally once they were brought up to speed the two ladies had their perspective to contribute. One lady agreed with the gentlemen and adds that a man should be respectful towards ladies as well. We all uniformly agreed to her notion and then it happened. Her friend or colleague started to interject a litany list of stereotypes, “a man should have a job, and be able to take you somewhere in his car...” When she stops and realized that we were all not laughing with her but to the contrary she got a little embarrassed. At that moment  Eddy chimes in that she was right to say those things because society or American culture says she’s right.

He also made a good point about that fact that we don’t value a mans ability for compassion. Nor is it encouraged to talk about- feelings among men. We went on to explore other facets that make a man a good person rather than just a man or the projection of what a man should some up to. The whole experience was very intellectually stimulating and put perspective on some of the values within myself.

The N-Word. You Know Which One.

“People are using it out of context. People are also denigrating themselves by using the word and disrespecting their history, disrespecting the history of a people and a country and also putting themselves in a negative light that we need to correct.” - Newsday.com, Councilman Leroy Comrie, sponsor of a bill to enact a moratorium of the use of the word “nigger“ in New York.

Councilman Leroy Comrie

The City Council unanimously declared a moratorium that carries no penalty but aims to stop youth from casually using the word, considered by most Americans to be the most offensive in the English language.

  Now, my only problem with this is that we have already been objectified as a people with this word. This argument would be more plausible if we can suggest that the word had recently evolved in daily language and discourse, and therefore was no longer growing in power.

 However, this is not the case. The fact of the matter is that the word has held power for over four hundred years and still holds power as demonstrated in the mere fact that Chris Rock, a very notable comedian, still associates the word with its original calumnious meaning.

In one of his stand up shows, Rock says that “there are black people and there’s niggers.” If you listen to one of Chris Rock’s shows entitled “Black People vs. Niggers,” he associates the word nigger with certain types of black people with everything negative. For instance he states “I love black people but I hate niggers. I wish they would let me join the Ku Klux Klan.” and “The worst thing about niggers, niggers love to not know, niggers love to keep it real, real dumb...niggers don’t read”. Here Rock, a black male associates nigger with everything negative like dishonesty, distrust, laziness, and ignorance. Interestingly enough, Chris Rock makes the clear distinction that it’s not all blacks, it’s just the niggers!

To suggest that we could take its power away by using it now, does not make sense simply because slavery has already occurred, black people are still underprivileged in America and the past cannot be erased. Therefore, when African Americans try to rid the word of its power by using it negatively, they are only proving that the word still has power. I'm just stuck.

How Men Really Feel...

No man wants to be separated from his children.

Every night, the Miami Heat's Dwyane Wade goes home to his two sons. He was awarded sole "care, custody and control" on March 11th after a year-long court battle with his ex-wife Siohvaughn Wade.

Following their recent divorce, Dwyane claimed that Siohvaughn wasn't allowing him to see their two sons, ages eight and three, and the court agreed with him. Her actions in this case alienating the sons from their father were so heinous that a court had to recognize it and do something about it. This ruling was rare.

Siohvaughn "has embarked on an unstoppable and relentless pattern of conduct for over two years to alienate the children from their father, and lacks either the ability or the willingness to facilitate, let alone encourage, a close and continuing relationship between them," said the court's papers.

The problem is, Siohvaughn is far from the only woman to pull the stunt called Parental Alienation. PA is a very common tactic used by women like Siohvaughn who have no problems manipulating, distorting or trying to dissolve a father's bond with his child.

In typical cases of PA, visitation after visitation is denied repeatedly and both parents are consistently in and out of court. In the most extreme cases, one day the father wakes up to learn his child has been relocated to another state or country without approval or notification. This is a form of kidnapping. But the crime rarely goes punished.

Several years can go by before the child is found and at that point, the child will have grown up not knowing or being able to bond with the father. For some reason people don't think this hurts men. 

But no man in their right mind wants to be separated from his children.

I know this first-hand. For two and a half years, I was separated from my two daughters and son, then ages five, three and two. During that time, there were no two hours within a given day when I didn't feel the pangs of loneliness in my heart caused from not being able to take part in my children’s daily lives. I had anxiety attacks. I cried thinking about how my daughters were doing, how they were growing and what they were experiencing. But more importantly, what I was missing in their little lives.

Political Jokes, Which One is Funnier?

The Problem with Political Jokes is that They get Elected

-Anonymous

If President Obama's policy positions and his plans for the country received almost as much coverage as his personality, life history, and personal life has-

- Most would agree that under the circumstances, he is doing the best he can with what he's got. I'm almost certain that more people would incorrectly mistake him as a Muslim than could correctly identify the major points of his health care plan or his vision for reforming American immigration policy. 

This post is an attempt to provide an unbiased look at President Obama's as well as Gov. Romney's stances on the key issues that will decide the 2012 election as they face up in November.

Please feel free to sift through the issues and Find the ones that pertain to you and Make the right choice for Yourself.

Enjoy!

	Barack Obama	Mitt Romney
Political Party:	Democratic	Republican
Alma Mater:	Occidental College, Columbia University (BA), Harvard Law School(JD)	Stanford University, Brigham Young University (BA), Harvard University (MBA, JD)
Position on the Economy:	Repeal Bush tax cuts for households earning more than $250,000. Lower taxes on manufacturing industry. Stimulus spending and tax cuts to grow the economy (short term). Cut spending and raise taxes on wealthy to reduce deficit (long term).	Make Bush tax cuts permanent. Lower corporate tax rate across the board to 25%. Cut taxes and regulations to encourage business. Cut "non-security discretionary [government] spending" by 5% to reduce deficit.
Position on Healthcare:	After five presidents over a century failed to create universal health insurance, signed the Affordable Care Act (2010) healthcare overhaul bill. Calls for patient protections like allowing coverage for pre-existing conditions, not letting insurers cancel policies when patients get sick, and requiring individuals to buy health insurance or pay a fine. It will cover 32 million uninsured Americans beginning in 2014 and mandates a suite of experimental measures to cut health care cost growth, the number one cause of America’s long-term fiscal problems.	Created similar legislation in Mass. but believes it's not appropriate for all of USA and wants to repeal. Proposes encouraging individuals to purchase their own health insurance rather than via employers, and allowing insurance across state lines.
Position on Immigration:	Supports path to legalization for illegal immigrants that includes learning English & paying fines; toughen penalties for hiring illegal immigrants; voted for fence along Mexican border. Issued exec order to not deport certain undocumented immigrants	Would make English the official language of the US and "turn off the magnets like tuition breaks or other breaks that draw people into this country illegally"
Position on Iraq:	Opposed invasion from the beginning; opposed troop increase; ended military operations in Iraq(on previously negotiated Bush timeline). Made no effort to keep promise to exit in 2009. Troops moved to Afghanistan and Iranian border.	Romney says that keeping the U.S. in Iraq is the best option for minimizing casualties and maintaining a democratic government in Iraq.
Position on Iran:	Engage in direct diplomacy; tighten economic sanctions with international cooperation; military option not off the table. Failed to deliver on 2008 campaign promise to meet with the Iranian president without preconditions.	Military option not off the table.
Position on Global Warming and Environment:	Supports a mandatory cap-and-trade system to reduce carbon emissions. Delayed decision on northern leg of Keystone XL pipeline due to environmental concerns.	Opposes cap and trade legislation. Supports Keystone XL pipeline. Exporting carbon emissions to China hurts US and planet. (Aug 2007), Humans contribute to world getting warmer. (Nov 2011), $20 billion package for energy research & new car technology
Position on Indefinite detention:	Publicly opposed but debate on Congressional floor revealed that his Administration asked for language excluding American citizens be removed.	Would have signed NDAA as is.
Position on Military Intervention:	Publicly opposed wars and intervention but has recently admitted to expanding Afghan conflict into Pakistan. Says Congressional approval not required if UN gives approval.	Consult with lawyers on legality but believes President has the right to do what he believes makes the country safer.
Position on Gay rights:	Supports same-sex marriage; pushed Congress to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell, allowing gays to serve openly in the military	Opposes same-sex marriage; supports legal unions; supports Don't Ask, Don't Tell but favors gays serving openly in the military(Govwatch 1994), supported ENDA to ban anti-gay employer discrimination
Position on Abortion:	Supports Roe v. Wade; criticized Supreme Court decision that upheld ban on partial-birth abortions.	Opposes Roe v. Wade; believes states should be allowed to ban abortions., 1994: Supported abortion rights but personally opposed, No punishment for women who have partial birth abortions, change of heart in 2005 when preparing to run for President
Position on Education	Obama called for increased investment in public schools; "Budget reflect choices..."	In the past, Romney has discussed making the U.S. Department of Education " A heck of a lot smaller".
Profession:	Lawyer, politician, author	Businessman, politician, author
Place of Birth:	Honolulu, Hawaii	Detroit, Michigan
Children:	Malia Ann (b July 4, 1998) and Natasha (known as Sasha) (b June 10, 2001)	Tagg (b. 1970), Matt (b. 1971), Josh (b. 1975), Ben (b. 1978), Craig (b. 1981)
Spouse(s):	Michelle Obama	Ann Romney (m. 1969–present)
Website:	http://www.barackobama.com	http://www.mittromney.com
Religion:	Christian (United Church of Christ)	Christian (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints a.k.a. Mormon)
Residence:	Washington, D.C.	Belmont, Massachusetts
Running mate:	Joseph "Joe" Biden	Paul Ryan
Date of Birth:	August 4,1961	March 12, 1947
Full name:	Barack Hussein Obama	Willard Mitt Romney

Does anybody know?

Often we speak of one's “personal identity” as what makes one the person one is. Your identity in this sense consists roughly of what makes you unique as an individual and different from others. 

- Or it is the way you see or define yourself.

It can also be described as the network of values and convictions that structure your life. 

This individual identity is a property (or set of properties). Presumably it is one you have only contingently, you might have had a different identity from the one you in fact have.

It is also a property that you may have only temporarily. You could swap your current individual identity for a new one, or perhaps even get by without any.

-What is the practical importance of facts about our identity?

-Why should we care about it?

-What matters in identity?

-Why does it matter? 

Imagine that surgeons are going to put your brain into my head and that neither of us has any choice about this. Will the resulting person who will presumably think he is you be responsible for my actions or for yours? (Or both? Or neither?) Suppose he will be in terrible pain after the operation unless one of us pays a large sum in advance. If we were both entirely selfish, which of us would have a reason to pay?

The answer may seem to turn entirely on whether the resulting person would be you or I. Only you can be responsible for your actions. The only one whose future welfare you cannot rationally ignore is yourself. You have a special, selfish interest in your own future and no one else's. Identity itself matters practically. 

But some deny this. 

Nigger Please, with Sugar on Top...

nig·ger

   [nig-er] 

noun

1.

Slang: Extremely Disparaging and Offensive .

a.

a black person.

b.

a member of any dark-skinned people.

2.

Slang: Extremely Disparaging and Offensive . a person of any race or origin regarded as contemptible, inferior, ignorant,etc.

	-= ghetto hamster =-
	A racial slur directed at a black child (a disposable pet). *white child* mom we need a new ghetto hamster my old one began to steal things.

The term nigger is now probably the most offensive word in English. Its degree of offensiveness has increased in recent years, although it has been used in a derogatory manner since at least the Revolutionary War.

Regarded as Extremely Disparaging and Offensive represents meanings that are deeply insulting and are used when the speaker deliberately wishes to cause great offense. It is so profoundly offensive that a euphemism has been developed for those occasions when the word itself must be discussed, as in court or in a newspaper editorial as “The N-word.”
Despite this, the same sense is used to referring to a “black person” among African Americans in a neutral or familiar way. More notably referring to other victims of prejudice, especially when used descriptively, as to denounce that prejudice, is not normally considered disparaging as in “The Irish are the niggers of Europe” from Roddy Doyle's The Commitments. But the other uses are considered Contemptuous and Hostile. 
We all invoke "Freedom of Speech" to hide the fact that we are saying something deemed offensive by some demographics. 

Can we start using other words or phrases out of context now?

I'm going to see if I can bring back Ghetto Hamster ( refers to black children as disposable used in the plantation era).

Sounds cute right? Maybe if I put a smiley after it wont be so bad? Ghetto Hamster :-D

Hopefully most people still find that phrase offensive. I wouldn't walk up to my children and say " Come here you little Fuckers! I love you". But why is it perfectly normal in some social groups to suggest that those little "nigglets" in the corner playing with blocks are mine?

Maybe I'm Not Black enough, but I don't Get it.I have a suggestion though. Can we go back to when we were children? You know, back to the time when we knew some words were just not appropriate in most situations so we just didn't use them...


Easier said than done?

Yes. Unless we change our culture and start to disseminate knowledge to our youth that words used out of context still suggests the same meanings attached to them. Whether it be intentional or not, the sentiment is still there and all the history and emotional baggage included. So Buyer's Beware when you're trying to invoke freedom of speech to sell/justify insensitivity.

Source

( Racial slur database http://gyral.blackshell.com/names.html )

Biracial and the Unwritten Rules . . .

Now to understand this phenomena, it's simple.

People are not allowed to pretend to be another race. This is one of the most sacred of the Unwritten Rules since the inception of society. 

I know this from experience. Especially when someone would not be convinced of what I claimed to be. It was always the same song and dance. I was met with anger and opposition. In some cases I would be an out right social outcast.

You know this phenomena exists because most likely you live in a Nation. Further more, this nation has Clear and well defined Borders. And if you reside within these borders you must possess Identification authenticating your residency status whether you're a native or naturalized citizen. If you don't have the proper nationality status you get a free ride out of the country. 

To some measure we all understand what it means to be considered the other. 

It seemed everywhere I went whether it was on the school yard or in front of my house playing street football, race was a common recurring theme.

- When I was younger I'd hear things like; 

"Your hair is too straight, you Mexican Henry." 

- Or on the other side of the spectrum, " Usted no habla español? No eres realmente un mexicano".

I can still recall how strange growing up Biracial was for me. I happen to be a Mexican and African American at the same time.

Blaxican for the sake of simplification. 

Of course those aren't the only races I could be a decendant of, but nobody really cares. My whole life I've had others (e.g. friends, family, acquaintances) tell me who I am, or what I can or cannot do according to which ever group I can be conveniently associated with.

And Yet, I can't lie . . .

I'm also guilty of stereotyping myself when it served me. When I was a young man it seemed like a convenient way to explain my various skill sets to different ethnic groups. If I wanted to play basketball with the "brothers" I had to make it be known that I got skills based on the mere fact that I am part black, so I would always get picked that way. 

Then you would hear me say things on the basketball court like "boy, you know this young bloods got skills", or " Undercover Brother has entered the building" after a major play.

It was always fascinating to me, all I had to do was make a vague reference to which race I affiliated with and I can get people to bite and say the same things, "what are you?", they would ask. My reply would be, " Human last time I checked.", then there would be that awkward laugh and then, "Really, what is your race?", as if I'm being challenged at the airport by the T.S.A about my boarding pass. 

Sometimes the line of questioning would get intense. Folks really take their identity to the extreme when it comes to race. 

It wasn't until I was older that I could understand that ones perception of me will always differ from person to person. With that in mind I knew as long as I am true to myself, that is what defines me.